I have the kind permission of our contributor Shannon - aka the kickbuttmama - to repost this article that she originally posted at associatedcontent.com as she is a very busy lady at the moment! Here is her article 'Lesson Focus: Personal Bias'.
Introducing Broader Ideas to Young Children
Yule has passed, as well as Christmas; Imbolc and Valentines Day, coming soon will be Ostara and Easter. This past was the first ever my children were singled out for being different....it was disturbing.
I've always been "out of the broom closet", I'm just no good at hiding who I am. When I became a mom and decided to home-school, I thought long and hard on what I would teach my children about my faith. I finally
decided that I would guide them along my path, gently. Not forcing them to believe what I believe, just instructing them, teaching them what being a Celtic Pagan is all about. I also decided to introduce overviews of many of the worlds religions, trying my best to make each lesson as unbiased as possible. Just because it isn't a faith I follow, doesn't mean it doesn't deserve my respect.
No matter how broad my view of the world, I also didn't want my children to be ignorant of the beliefs of their fellow man. To counter this, each month I find lists and lists of holy days...not just for my faith, but for as many of the worlds faiths as I can. I try to keep my homeschooling wall calendar updated with all these days. When the day comes I have a printout, or at least a general overview of what that day means to the people of that belief system...
Now, I usually even include Christian holidays. Many Pagans are biased against Christianity, pointing the finger of blame at them for all the persecution Pagans have suffered through the ages. If I were to give my boys an overview of all religions then I couldn't very well ignore one of the most popular now could I. While trying very hard to not give opinions on any religion when teaching their tenets to my children is not easy, I feel it is very important. So sad that people won't give our family the same respect.
I've always faced people's fear with a certain amount of calm. When snidely accused of being a devil worshiper I've calmly explained we have no such being in our lexicon. When overhearing whispers of being involved in
large orgies and animal sacrifices, I've joked that I can't even get my husband to light a candle let alone be an active participant in any religious practice (and the animal sacrifice thing is just stupid, as we're all about the respect of our Mother Nature). Even my boy's daycare gently told me the boys continually mis-spelled Easter, writing Ostara instead. I laughed so hard I had a stitch in my side. I've kept my sarcastic sense of humor, letting the believe what they will while gently trying to correct their misconceptions. That is until this past holiday season, when my Christian extended family had a large gathering to which we weren't invited.
I was fuming mad. My family argued that we aren't Christian and therefore, don't need to gather for Christmas...I tried explaining most Christian holidays and traditions coincide (and were derived from) pagan traditions...so no matter what they do to celebrate, we probably do similar...furthermore, my family does nothing 'Christian' on Christmas....they have the tree and Yule Log, they eat the feast and exchange gifts (all of which are Pagan ways of celebrating Yule). I've tried to explain that even though I'm Pagan, my children aren't. They can't yet decide what their favorite toy is, so how can I expect them to decide what they believe about the after life?
My family also knows we decorate our home with an evergreen tree, and tell stories of the Holly King distributing gifts to the children. But, alas, my children were left out this year. I was sad for them, they knew all their cousins and grandparents were gathering without them.
So, I had to introduce bias to my young children - only 6 and 3 years old. The undertone from my family was, if I would just fall in line, and attend the family church, then my children would be invited to everything. When we are invited, I have to constantly steer the conversation away from momma burning in hell. Even though it's frustrating to know my family thinks I'm crazy (or worse, in need of 'saving'), even though I sometimes have to bite holes in my cheeks to keep from putting down their faith (as that would make me no better than they), they are still the only family I have and I don't want my children to be alienated because of me.
So, I sat down and told the children this:
"Everyone is different. You know how everyone looks different? Different height, different hair or eye color? Well, everyone also has their own beliefs of what is right or wrong, and what happens to us when we die. This
is very personal and important to everyone, to understand what they believe. I personally believe that as long as no harm come to others, that everyone is right. You have to find the right fit for you. Sadly, not everyone feels the way I do. They think their way is the Only Right Way, and spend lots of time and energy trying to convince everyone to fall in line with them. Some people even resort to fear and violence to convince others to follow their faith. The best way to counter them, is to understand where they are coming from. If you know what it is they fear in our beliefs, you might be able to set their minds at ease.
Try not to judge them too harshly. Finding a belief system is a very personal decision. Many people fear death and latch onto the comforting explanations of their religious beliefs for what happens when they pass away. When you can appreciate the source of someones fear, their outwardly mean and angry actions seem less offensive. Should they be forcing their beliefs on others? No, but at least you can understand where they are coming from."
When finished discussing this with my boys I realized understanding really is a balm to the soul. My hurt and anger faded in the face of my families terror. I know they fear for us because they love us, and their particular brand of Christianity is all about trying to convince everyone of the right path. It's a vicious cycle. But, I took the lesson I gave the boys and used it in my own life.
You can love someone who is different. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you love them any less. Imagine how boring our world would be if everyone was exactly the same. That would be Stepford Scary...
Introducing Broader Ideas to Young Children
Yule has passed, as well as Christmas; Imbolc and Valentines Day, coming soon will be Ostara and Easter. This past was the first ever my children were singled out for being different....it was disturbing.
I've always been "out of the broom closet", I'm just no good at hiding who I am. When I became a mom and decided to home-school, I thought long and hard on what I would teach my children about my faith. I finally
decided that I would guide them along my path, gently. Not forcing them to believe what I believe, just instructing them, teaching them what being a Celtic Pagan is all about. I also decided to introduce overviews of many of the worlds religions, trying my best to make each lesson as unbiased as possible. Just because it isn't a faith I follow, doesn't mean it doesn't deserve my respect.
No matter how broad my view of the world, I also didn't want my children to be ignorant of the beliefs of their fellow man. To counter this, each month I find lists and lists of holy days...not just for my faith, but for as many of the worlds faiths as I can. I try to keep my homeschooling wall calendar updated with all these days. When the day comes I have a printout, or at least a general overview of what that day means to the people of that belief system...
Now, I usually even include Christian holidays. Many Pagans are biased against Christianity, pointing the finger of blame at them for all the persecution Pagans have suffered through the ages. If I were to give my boys an overview of all religions then I couldn't very well ignore one of the most popular now could I. While trying very hard to not give opinions on any religion when teaching their tenets to my children is not easy, I feel it is very important. So sad that people won't give our family the same respect.
I've always faced people's fear with a certain amount of calm. When snidely accused of being a devil worshiper I've calmly explained we have no such being in our lexicon. When overhearing whispers of being involved in
large orgies and animal sacrifices, I've joked that I can't even get my husband to light a candle let alone be an active participant in any religious practice (and the animal sacrifice thing is just stupid, as we're all about the respect of our Mother Nature). Even my boy's daycare gently told me the boys continually mis-spelled Easter, writing Ostara instead. I laughed so hard I had a stitch in my side. I've kept my sarcastic sense of humor, letting the believe what they will while gently trying to correct their misconceptions. That is until this past holiday season, when my Christian extended family had a large gathering to which we weren't invited.
I was fuming mad. My family argued that we aren't Christian and therefore, don't need to gather for Christmas...I tried explaining most Christian holidays and traditions coincide (and were derived from) pagan traditions...so no matter what they do to celebrate, we probably do similar...furthermore, my family does nothing 'Christian' on Christmas....they have the tree and Yule Log, they eat the feast and exchange gifts (all of which are Pagan ways of celebrating Yule). I've tried to explain that even though I'm Pagan, my children aren't. They can't yet decide what their favorite toy is, so how can I expect them to decide what they believe about the after life?
My family also knows we decorate our home with an evergreen tree, and tell stories of the Holly King distributing gifts to the children. But, alas, my children were left out this year. I was sad for them, they knew all their cousins and grandparents were gathering without them.
So, I had to introduce bias to my young children - only 6 and 3 years old. The undertone from my family was, if I would just fall in line, and attend the family church, then my children would be invited to everything. When we are invited, I have to constantly steer the conversation away from momma burning in hell. Even though it's frustrating to know my family thinks I'm crazy (or worse, in need of 'saving'), even though I sometimes have to bite holes in my cheeks to keep from putting down their faith (as that would make me no better than they), they are still the only family I have and I don't want my children to be alienated because of me.
So, I sat down and told the children this:
"Everyone is different. You know how everyone looks different? Different height, different hair or eye color? Well, everyone also has their own beliefs of what is right or wrong, and what happens to us when we die. This
is very personal and important to everyone, to understand what they believe. I personally believe that as long as no harm come to others, that everyone is right. You have to find the right fit for you. Sadly, not everyone feels the way I do. They think their way is the Only Right Way, and spend lots of time and energy trying to convince everyone to fall in line with them. Some people even resort to fear and violence to convince others to follow their faith. The best way to counter them, is to understand where they are coming from. If you know what it is they fear in our beliefs, you might be able to set their minds at ease.
Try not to judge them too harshly. Finding a belief system is a very personal decision. Many people fear death and latch onto the comforting explanations of their religious beliefs for what happens when they pass away. When you can appreciate the source of someones fear, their outwardly mean and angry actions seem less offensive. Should they be forcing their beliefs on others? No, but at least you can understand where they are coming from."
When finished discussing this with my boys I realized understanding really is a balm to the soul. My hurt and anger faded in the face of my families terror. I know they fear for us because they love us, and their particular brand of Christianity is all about trying to convince everyone of the right path. It's a vicious cycle. But, I took the lesson I gave the boys and used it in my own life.
You can love someone who is different. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you love them any less. Imagine how boring our world would be if everyone was exactly the same. That would be Stepford Scary...
No comments:
Post a Comment