"A Book on Every Bed"

I thought this was a great idea. Even better if it lets me sleep in on Christmas morning. :)

Take a book. Wrap it. Place it on your child's bed so it's the first thing s/he sees on Christmas/Solstice/Holiday morning. "A Book on Every Bed" is an attempt to spread the love of reading from parents to children, to raise and foster a generation of readers.

This idea was inspired by one of America's favorite writers, David McCullough, who he woke up every Christmas morning as a child to a wrapped book at the foot of his bed, left by Santa. This tradition carried on with his children and grandchildren.

I found out about this idea through a column in the Denver Post.

UZU--Melia

Fairy houses of the strangest variety...

My 6-year-old has really been wanting to attract fairies. In what I *thought* was a brilliant move, I said "let's build fairy houses!". Now, when I made the comment I had something like this in mind:

We build these when we go places sometimes... especially when we go to the beach... and I've been trying to get the kids to help me build them at home for eons. But I left the kids with Daddy one day and suggested they work on fairy houses... I came home to this:

I clearly didn't think this through... the kids wanted to know that fairies existed... and in general I'm so truthful with them... but I want them to believe in fairies. I want them to think that they could see a fairy... mostly just because I believe that we often feed our own expectations... that our brains put limits on us if we're willing to accept those limitations... and I don't want to impose limitations on a 6-year-old and 4-year-old. The world will oblige them with many if they decide to go looking for them.

We put milk and honey in the houses as offerings... to let the fairies know that we are kind and just want to be friends. And the fairies left a note, saying that they knew that we were friendly and care about the fairy folk... and they left wands made of maple leaves and lavender for the girls.

But ever since we did this... and especially now that Christmas is coming and talk of Santa is flying around... I wonder if we're doing the right thing. Is it right to encourage them to believe in magic, in the magical, in unseen and unprovable things? Or is it unfair and bound to be disappointing in the future? What do you guys think? Do you encourage your children to believe in Santa, or fairies, or the tooth fairy, or God/Goddess? Are these things all in the same category, or is it different to believe in the tooth fairy than it is to believe in God?

Personal Bias

I have the kind permission of our contributor Shannon - aka the kickbuttmama - to repost this article that she originally posted at associatedcontent.com as she is a very busy lady at the moment! Here is her article 'Lesson Focus: Personal Bias'.

Introducing Broader Ideas to Young Children
Yule has passed, as well as Christmas; Imbolc and Valentines Day, coming soon will be Ostara and Easter. This past was the first ever my children were singled out for being different....it was disturbing.

I've always been "out of the broom closet", I'm just no good at hiding who I am. When I became a mom and decided to home-school, I thought long and hard on what I would teach my children about my faith. I finally
decided that I would guide them along my path, gently. Not forcing them to believe what I believe, just instructing them, teaching them what being a Celtic Pagan is all about. I also decided to introduce overviews of many of the worlds religions, trying my best to make each lesson as unbiased as possible. Just because it isn't a faith I follow, doesn't mean it doesn't deserve my respect.

No matter how broad my view of the world, I also didn't want my children to be ignorant of the beliefs of their fellow man. To counter this, each month I find lists and lists of holy days...not just for my faith, but for as many of the worlds faiths as I can. I try to keep my homeschooling wall calendar updated with all these days. When the day comes I have a printout, or at least a general overview of what that day means to the people of that belief system...

Now, I usually even include Christian holidays. Many Pagans are biased against Christianity, pointing the finger of blame at them for all the persecution Pagans have suffered through the ages. If I were to give my boys an overview of all religions then I couldn't very well ignore one of the most popular now could I. While trying very hard to not give opinions on any religion when teaching their tenets to my children is not easy, I feel it is very important. So sad that people won't give our family the same respect.


I've always faced people's fear with a certain amount of calm. When snidely accused of being a devil worshiper I've calmly explained we have no such being in our lexicon. When overhearing whispers of being involved in
large orgies and animal sacrifices, I've joked that I can't even get my husband to light a candle let alone be an active participant in any religious practice (and the animal sacrifice thing is just stupid, as we're all about the respect of our Mother Nature). Even my boy's daycare gently told me the boys continually mis-spelled Easter, writing Ostara instead. I laughed so hard I had a stitch in my side. I've kept my sarcastic sense of humor, letting the believe what they will while gently trying to correct their misconceptions. That is until this past holiday season, when my Christian extended family had a large gathering to which we weren't invited.

I was fuming mad. My family argued that we aren't Christian and therefore, don't need to gather for Christmas...I tried explaining most Christian holidays and traditions coincide (and were derived from) pagan traditions...so no matter what they do to celebrate, we probably do similar...furthermore, my family does nothing 'Christian' on Christmas....they have the tree and Yule Log, they eat the feast and exchange gifts (all of which are Pagan ways of celebrating Yule). I've tried to explain that even though I'm Pagan, my children aren't. They can't yet decide what their favorite toy is, so how can I expect them to decide what they believe about the after life?

My family also knows we decorate our home with an evergreen tree, and tell stories of the Holly King distributing gifts to the children. But, alas, my children were left out this year. I was sad for them, they knew all their cousins and grandparents were gathering without them.

So, I had to introduce bias to my young children - only 6 and 3 years old. The undertone from my family was, if I would just fall in line, and attend the family church, then my children would be invited to everything. When we are invited, I have to constantly steer the conversation away from momma burning in hell. Even though it's frustrating to know my family thinks I'm crazy (or worse, in need of 'saving'), even though I sometimes have to bite holes in my cheeks to keep from putting down their faith (as that would make me no better than they), they are still the only family I have and I don't want my children to be alienated because of me.

So, I sat down and told the children this:
"Everyone is different. You know how everyone looks different? Different height, different hair or eye color? Well, everyone also has their own beliefs of what is right or wrong, and what happens to us when we die. This
is very personal and important to everyone, to understand what they believe. I personally believe that as long as no harm come to others, that everyone is right. You have to find the right fit for you. Sadly, not everyone feels the way I do. They think their way is the Only Right Way, and spend lots of time and energy trying to convince everyone to fall in line with them. Some people even resort to fear and violence to convince others to follow their faith. The best way to counter them, is to understand where they are coming from. If you know what it is they fear in our beliefs, you might be able to set their minds at ease.

Try not to judge them too harshly. Finding a belief system is a very personal decision. Many people fear death and latch onto the comforting explanations of their religious beliefs for what happens when they pass away. When you can appreciate the source of someones fear, their outwardly mean and angry actions seem less offensive. Should they be forcing their beliefs on others? No, but at least you can understand where they are coming from."

When finished discussing this with my boys I realized understanding really is a balm to the soul. My hurt and anger faded in the face of my families terror. I know they fear for us because they love us, and their particular brand of Christianity is all about trying to convince everyone of the right path. It's a vicious cycle. But, I took the lesson I gave the boys and used it in my own life.

You can love someone who is different. Just because you don't agree doesn't mean you love them any less. Imagine how boring our world would be if everyone was exactly the same. That would be Stepford Scary...

finger painting

Well what do you know...a child who hates to color will LOVE to finger paint.

My son hates to color with crayons. It will hold his interest for 3 minutes, tops. This gave me a problem because one of his homework assignments (homework in pre-school?!) is making a family tree. There is NO WAY he draw one more less color it. So I decided to give finger paints a try.

First we cut out the tree trunk out of brown construction paper. (I say we because he operated the scissors while I moved the paper around.) Then we glued the trunk on to the paper. Next I set up the area for finger painting and dressed my son in an old apron. I took a glass plate and place a dab of red, oranger, yellow and green non-toxic, washable paint. I then smeared them together until it was the size of his hand print. He then placed his hands into the paint and made hand-prints all over the top of the tree trunk until it looked liked leaves. It came out better than I had hoped.

What happened next, surprised me..."Mom can I have another piece of paper?" He decorated two large pieces of butcher paper and wanted to do more. I had to stop him in order to make dinner. I was/am beyond surprised. I expect him to ask to do it again today!

I will save the butcher paper pieces to use as one of a kind wrapping paper. I'm very tickled that I have found a creative outlet for him and one that teaches him what color combinations do. As for the family part of the tree, we are waiting on pictures from grandparents.

Seasonal Scrapbook

An activity that has become one that my daughter enjoys immensely is filling in our family seasonal scrapbook.  She is very particular about what she likes to put in it and doesn't really like to listen to my suggestions but the important thing is that it really gets her thinking about and discussing the seasonal changes that can otherwise easily pass us by. Above is her first exploration of autumn.

What I think is lovely about this idea is that everyone in the family can contribute and think about it. As time passes we can look back over the pages and compare the ideas and impressions we came up with. The possibilities are endless and I have found this a really valuable tool for both developing a link for children with nature and working on their other skills of writing, communication and creativity.

Blessings of the season to all of you, I hope you all have a wonderful Mabon.

The Big Question

Now if you are a follower of most of the mainstream religions/spiritualities then the question of whether or not you will raise your children with your religion doesn't even come up - being part of most religions you would see it as your duty to raise your children into your religion. But with paganism things are a little bit different. For one thing there is no doctrine that tells you that you SHOULD raise your children to worship as you do. But more importantly pagans as a general rule tend to be very much more open to other religions and tend to be very much more inclined to embrace the wide scope of spiritual choices out there. So it is that many pagan parents (myself included!) struggle with the question of whether or not it is right to bring their children up in their religion, or how to include their children in their own spiritual practise without 'giving' their children a religion that the child has not chosen.
I have been thinking about this an awful lot of late because my eldest has started showing moments of spiritual interest. My very first thought was that under no circumstance did I want to give my children a religion; whatever religion that might be. I have always hated the way that many religions say that they give children the choice to join their religions but the children always have to make this choice at what I have always thought to be an inappropriately young age to be making such decisions.
But having friends that have grown up in religious communities I have seen first hand how those bonds of faith have helped them in their lives; have seen their faith guide them to be better people than they would have been without it. In short, although I have been uncomfortable with how early in their lives my friends were asked to make these spiritual decisions, I have seen how much it has benefited their lives as a whole.
But in my mind this 'big question' remained and so I began to read as many opinions as I could lay my hands on. It seems to me that most pagan parents initially had the very same thought that I had myself - that they would not raise their children in their pagan religion. But then I read a handful of opinions that had moved past this knee-jerk response to think about the bigger picture. The question of what happens if you give your children no spiritual guidance from fear of swaying their choice? This point of view really got me to thinking. Our western culture at large seems to be really losing the plot. Is this because we have lost the spiritual, the sacred? Well, erm, yes. Most pagans would agree with that and agree that we need to reconnect with the Earth and with spirit to heal our fractured societies and the Earth itself. Would we have so much willful neglect of the planet and her resources, so much violent crime, so much bigotry if we raised our children in spiritual conditions? It's a fairly big question I know, but I suspect that the answer is 'probably not'.
Another point that I saw raised in all of my reading was that if you don't give your child a spiritual foundation, a spiritual spring board as it were, how are they then as adults going to be able to make wise decisions about their own spirituality,be it paganism or not? This is another question that I don't have an answer to yet, but it strikes me as a very valid point. I am finding that at the age of 6 (though of a developmental age of maybe 4-5) my son has started enquiring about this aspect of my life, and it seems that he finds it as natural as eating or drinking.
The thing about being a pagan is that there is so much choice in how to follow your path. I am starting to wonder if raising pagan children really does rob them of a personal choice. To give them a sense of awe, a sense of the sacred, a foundation of tolerance and reverence and equality can be no bad thing. When there are so many Gods and Goddesses, traditions and techniques out there that all full under the broad pagan umbrella, I start to wonder how a pagan upbringing can be restrictive. You can be a pagan Jew can you not? Or a pagan Quaker? Even a pagan Buddhist? I know that there are people who happily merge these paths in a way that works for them.
There are of course other considerations that worry us as parents when we consider the question of whether or not to raise pagan children. I know that in some areas a pagan would be distinctly unwelcome. As parents we ask whether we want to set our children up for a life of misunderstanding or even outright hostility. I am fortunate that for me and my children this is not going to be a huge issue or the deciding factor on my children's spiritual upbringing. I will be completely honest with you. If I lived in a very Christian fundamentalist area then I would probably not overtly raise my children with my pagan spirituality because I would be afraid of the difficulties it might bring them. I am massively grateful that this isn't a consideration for my family but I'm very aware that other pagans are not so lucky.
So while I started off firmly against raising little pagans I find that more and more my views are starting to mellow and mutate. The issue is not so clear cut as it might initially seem.