We build these when we go places sometimes... especially when we go to the beach... and I've been trying to get the kids to help me build them at home for eons. But I left the kids with Daddy one day and suggested they work on fairy houses... I came home to this:
I clearly didn't think this through... the kids wanted to know that fairies existed... and in general I'm so truthful with them... but I want them to believe in fairies. I want them to think that they could see a fairy... mostly just because I believe that we often feed our own expectations... that our brains put limits on us if we're willing to accept those limitations... and I don't want to impose limitations on a 6-year-old and 4-year-old. The world will oblige them with many if they decide to go looking for them.
We put milk and honey in the houses as offerings... to let the fairies know that we are kind and just want to be friends. And the fairies left a note, saying that they knew that we were friendly and care about the fairy folk... and they left wands made of maple leaves and lavender for the girls. 
But ever since we did this... and especially now that Christmas is coming and talk of Santa is flying around... I wonder if we're doing the right thing. Is it right to encourage them to believe in magic, in the magical, in unseen and unprovable things? Or is it unfair and bound to be disappointing in the future? What do you guys think? Do you encourage your children to believe in Santa, or fairies, or the tooth fairy, or God/Goddess? Are these things all in the same category, or is it different to believe in the tooth fairy than it is to believe in God?
Great questions, Moon Daughter!
ReplyDeleteThree of my four children, and a number of adults of my acquaintance, have seen fairies. So maybe your children will, too.
As for Santa and the Tooth Fairy -- I've answered that question for myself this way. I do believe in Santa and beings like him: I believe they are spirits of the Otherworld in whose name we act on occasion. In a sense, when we place presents under the Solstice Tree, we become Santa, for that moment. So in a way, it is not a lie to talk of Santa coming into the house. And I feel strongly -- though I cannot explain why -- that telling children this "lie" is better for them then the bald truth.
Santa (or the Easter Bunny) is the spirit of giving selflessly, as in with no expectation of return. So in that sense he (they) are very real and very important.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a very pertinent question for a pagan parent where we are liable to second guess ourself into knots.
ReplyDeleteI've thought quite a bit about the Santa issue this last year (and was sent a great story to help my ruminations which I think would have a grand place here ~ I'll find and post it) and I myself came to the conclusion that after all those years where i didn't believe in Santa I've converted again. Because I've come to think that Santa is very much the spirit of Christmas (and how much you differentiate Christmas and Yule is always going to be a personal choice and a whole different matter!), and like 4ofwands I too think he is the spirit of giving. Do I believe he actually exists though? Yep I do! However his story evolved I've decided that I do actually believe that there is a spirit out there that we've come to call Santa. As to what he gets up to for the rest of the year i haven't got a clue lol! But even down to leaving out a whisky and mince pie for him on christmas eve, how much does that smack of an old pagan offering?
I feel much the same about fairies, though I doubt that they have gossamer wings and are 4 inches tall. I don't encourage my children in the fairy vein however, simply because they have no interest of their own as yet, and partly because some cultures don't believe the wee folk to be all that kindly disposed to humans though i don't know for myself if this is true.
Good question!
Hey it's the first Fairy Suburbs!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with the PP's. Santa is the essence of giving selflessly. The Tooth Fairy is the physical manifestation of the rewards for taking care of yourself. Both of these concepts are extremely important and yet if you try to explain them they are so intangible it can be impossible. Therefore we use characters and items children can relate to to understand the complex.
When it comes to Gods & Goddesses I firmly encourage my kids to believe they are real....who am I to say they are not?
Fantastic questions though!
Oh, thank you everyone! It took me awhile to come back and see these responses... just so much going on... but thank you thank you! I believe that people can see fairies... and I know that my 6-year-old saw a gnome-type elemental when she was 2. She often talked about the "boy that lives in the front yard"... she even had a name for him, but I can't find the paper I wrote the story down on. Anyway, I know she's capable at some level, and yet she's lost it for now... and she struggles with believing somehow. Now I think I can better articulate how these unprovables are "real" to me... and hopefully, someday, the kids will understand.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the responses!